I'm not going to apologise for this. You can cry ‘sexist pig!’ until you’re blue in the face. You can berate me with claims of ‘misogynistic bias’ all you want. Fact is I’m a hot-blooded guy that likes women. I think about sleeping with them a lot. I don’t think I’m unique in this respect. And the good news is that Lost has presented many a fine specimen of woman for me to ogle – and so here, without apology or restraint, are my Top 5 Lost women I would most like to have sex with, in order of appearance. With pictorial evidence.
It was a dark day when they killed “sticks” off. I’ve gotta tell you, if you twisted my arm up behind my back and demanded I have sex with one, and only one, of the Lost women (a rather unlikely scenario, I grant you) then I’d pick Shannon. Aside from the her obvious qualities. . .
. . . there’s something quite sensuous about her. You can see why Boone wanted to have a go on her, despite the confusion their semi-sibling status created. Despite her selfishness and bitchiness (which were all just a front anyway!) she still retained that important air of vulnerability whilst dripping with sexual chemistry.
I was almost as gutted as Sayid when she got killed off.
The first lady of Lost, there was no way Kate was ever going to be off this list. Her beautiful doll-like features matched by what can only be described as a sensational body. The guys making the show knew this from the start, and were quick to show Kate’s assets off right from the very beginning in the Pilot episode.
Since then we’ve seen plenty of shots of Kate in her knickers, or in that wonderful dress The Others gave her that clung in all the right places, or in a tight vest running around the jungle getting all grubby whilst being a bit of an action-girl. Still, for all her tomboy qualities, there’s no doubting she scrubs up nicely!
Now whilst Shannon may be my number one for Lost girls that I’d most like to get down ‘n’ dirty with, when it comes to Lost women I’d like to spend the rest of my life with then Shannon doesn’t get a look in. No. That ring on my finger is reserved for one Lost lady: Sun Kwon.
It’s not just because she’s got that whole ‘subservient wife’ vibe going on (well, she did at the start). It’s more because she’s got dignity (except for when she’s sleeping with other men) and poise, she knows how to cook and grow things and, let’s face it, if I was faced with her waiting in my bed every night then the world couldn’t ever be a particularly bad place.
She’s quietly one of the most stunning of the Lost ladies, but was content to keep her assets under wraps for quite some time – mainly because Jin made her do her buttons up all the time. But then there was that glorious moment of awakening, when Sun liberated herself from Jin’s oppression and, in doing so, liberated herself of her clothes.
In that wonderful moment of her emancipation, I quietly thought to myself: Goddamn it I’d love to fuck her senseless.
It’s not because she’s British, with that clipped English Rose accent. And it’s not because she’s got money and so, would I to get with her, also be getting involved in a wealthy lifestyle. It’s not even because of her romantic endurance to Desmond, going above and beyond all measures to get him back. No, whilst all those are, indeed, admirable qualities, they are not the reason Penny makes the Top 5.
The reason she’s in my Top5 is because she’s got those sensational tits that I would like to bury my cock in.
I apologise if that offends you, or makes you think less of me. But, evidently, I’m not sorry enough to actually retract the statement. And if you thought that was bad, you don’t realise what I’d like to do to. . .
Much has been said about how Nikki, and Pablo, were surplus to requirements on the show. Sure, there’s some good cases for why that was the case. But let’s be honest – no other Lost woman was going to take on a scene like this and do it justice.
That little sequence, that little glittery bikini, completely justified Nikki for me. That and her running around the Island in her jiggly vest top and tight denim shorts. How the hell she failed to attract Sawyer’s attention so much so that he didn’t even know who she was until after she had died is perhaps one of the biggest plot holes the show has ever produced!
So, that's my five. But, just for the sake of rounding things off neatly, here's a collection of some of those lovely ladies that, for whatever reason, didn't make the cut. Needless to say, I'd happily bang any or all of them.